Some fun pictures for Sarcoma Awareness Month

My nails and my yellow dress (I just realized I look like Nikki Manji :-(

Mr. Collins with his yellow on

My mom in her lovely yellow

Ms. Tynisha with her sunshine yellow on

D. Michelle McNair, MPH with her shining yellow on

Thank you all for the wonderful support!! PLEASE continue to educate others about Sarcomas. Remember yellow looks GREAT on everyone ;-)

Day 3 of Sarcoma Awareness month

The specific sarcoma subtype that I have is called a hermangiosarcoma. Many of the this rumors are malignant. My tumor started in my liver.


Hemangiosarcoma, also known as malignant hemangiothelioma or angiosarcoma, is a very aggressive, high-grade soft tissue cancer of vascular tissue with the skin, heart and spleen the most common areas affected. Hemangiosarcoma is primarily treated with a combination of surgery and chemotherapy and some radiation. The drug of choice is Doxorubicin and Cyclophosphamide. Surgical removal alone is often not very rewarding. Hemangiosarcomas are rare but extremely deadly forms of cancer. These cancers have a high rate of metastasis, meaning the cancers spread quickly to other parts of the body. When they occur in the spleen, they often spread to the lungs and liver. Likewise, they can spread from the liver to the spleen. Prompt treatment of the hemangiosarcoma cancers is vital to survival, but limited research into hemangiosarcomas makes treatment difficult.

Please read this with a grain of salt. I'm more optimistic that I am more than just a common statistic. As a statistician, I know that people fall above and below the numbers. I'm going to believe I am above the significance level. Like I used to say I'm significant on a 99.9% confidence level. I'm gonna get t-shirts that say that. ;-)

Day 2 of Sarcoma Awareness Month

Soft tissue sarcoma usually present as a soft tissue mass without any pain. Symptoms may occur in and around the joints, causing swelling and tenderness. Bone tumors can weaken the bones, causing bone pain and fractures. Symptoms usually do not show up until the disease is advanced, but a doctor should be contacted regarding the following symptoms: a new or growing lump appears, increasing abdominal pain, and/or blood in stools or in vomit.

My tumor started in my liver and then metastasized to my spinal cord. My tumor rapped around my spine and should have caused me more weakness in my lower extremities. Once the tumor grew on my spine, I had major surgery to remove it.

I'm so blessed to have God on my side. I know He has a higher power for me. He showed me the day I was dignosed. Positivity makes the hard days shorter and the rough moments easier. I hope you can learn something from me.

Support Sarcoma Awareness Month!! Wear something yellow.

The first day of SARCOMA AWARENESS MONTH

I'm so grateful for everyone that has taken the time out to participate in this adventure today!! I really don't like yellow but it has grown on me. :-) Look at all those who sent me pictures of their yellow today. For those who had the chance to wear yellow today but haven't had the time to take the picture. THANK YOU TOO!!

THANKS EVERYONE!! We should make this known like breast cancer. Only 1% of cancer diagnosis are of sarcomas. In which there are 15 different subtypes, I just happen to be that amazing to have one of the rarer sarcomas. :-)


So here you go and for those who want to send me pics of our yellow... GO RIGHT AHEAD!!

Chemo Mom in her yellow dress and glasses

Mama Ressa and her co-workers

My livestrong shirt

My livestrong shoes :-)

Mr. Pat and his yellow

Amanda's ribbon for the month (LOVE THEM!!)

My bestie Amanda

Ainee' in her Yellow and Green!! Love Ya Girl

Mama Theretha in her yellow glory!! Beautiful!!

Sassy Sabrina in her yellow!!

Tomorrow marks the first day of Sarcoma awareness month!!

I'm so excited about the month of June!! It's a time of fun in the sun and it's also Sarcoma awareness month!! If you don't know the official color is yellow for sarcoma cancer!! Please make sure to wear something yellow all month! Please tell someone you don't know that you know someone who is a sarcoma survivor. :-) If at all possible, find the time to tell someone you cared for someone with a epitholid hermangiosarcoma and she is a strong, caring, loving, out-going, smart individual that has a lot to give this world. I think we should start a fund for individuals like me. Maybe take donations and such. Anyone agree?

Happy Sarcoma Awareness Month All!! Please wear yellow as much as you can. (If not wear green (-;)

LOVE YA!!

When doors seem closed...

It seems as if we tend to over look the doors that are open when we are busy trying to figure out why the door we want to be open is closed shut. I say that in deep reflection from being an individual that has seen a lot of doors close in my face lately. I have also been truly blessed enough to see a lot of doors open for me. I don't understand why I don't have the key to those closed lock doors but I'm glad that I have been granted access to a great many new doors. I can say that I have been a little sad because the holidays like these I tend to get really upset and sad because I miss my uncle's BBQ, laugh and company. But God has blessed me with an amazing way of being in great people's company. Those who see me for my amazing personality and company. I'm grateful for the doors that have closed in my life. It's like being able to see the hallway of success in front of me. I'm so happy to all the amazing people in my life. :-)

Thank you for having me in your lives and opening those doors for me!

Cancer Support Materials

Hey everyone!! Here is a website to help with Cancer Support. For those of you that have someone you know with any type of cancer or have been a caregiver to someone with cancer. This is a great website to get materials.

http://www.choosehope.com/

This is where I got the keychains and I would like to get more materials for people in my life. :-)

I hope you all enjoy.

How do you forgive..

So as you all know, I gave my dad the chance to come through. He made the effort to come today. He showed up with a smile on his face but I'm not so sure if he was happy in his heart. All I could see is the quilt in his eyes. He has a lot of things that are heavy on his heart. I know that because of the way he speaks and chuckles nervously. As I look at a man who is down on his luck, I realize anything that I have to say to him will only break him more. As I smile and joke with him over current events and stories about my younger brother and sister, I realize that nothing I would say to him would make me feel better and would only hurt him more. So I decided to quietly make casual conversation with my father. I could only feel sorry for someone so suppressed and unhappy with life and just the choices in general. I just wanted to give him everything that he needed in the world. But then I soon realized that you can't help or forgive those who can't help or forgive themselves. I gave him a huge hug and said "I love you" as he walked out the door to then promise to me I will see you again before I get a job. An empty promise that I have heard many times before. I smiled and said to him "I look forward to it." With tears in my eyes and in my heart, I realized there is nothing I can do or change in my dad's life. All I can do is ask God to give me the strength to be there to support him and ask God to continue to give him the strength he needs to support his family. I really hope that my dad finds it within himself to forgive himself. That's all I really want at this point.

The living will conversation...

Most of my older readers know what a living will is and most of my younger readers think it's shocking to have one at 25. However, I have to have a living will due to the fact that I don't know at any point of time I will need someone to speak up for me. I had to develop a will because my mother lives 700 miles away, in which I would rather have her make the decision on what will happen in a really bad situation. Unfortunately, I'm not absolutely sure that my father has a clear enough vision of what to do next. He may become guilty versus doing what I have asked for. So I had to complete my documents today. It was funny having a conversation with one of my peers, he asked me what was in the folder, I said "my living will," very causally. He looks like a deer in headlights. I laugh and say I have to have one due to the fact that my parents don't live close and sometimes don't get along. He start to chuckle neverously. Then states "my father just finished my grandfather's." HAHA, well he tried and I appreciate it. Oh well, it's another situation that has become a life lesson that I can help teach my other friends when things like this happen to them. :-) I'm so glad that I had Meghan around to help guide me in the right direction. It's something that I really needed to hear from her. Although, I was really recluntant to hear it at the time. It was heard Megs and it sunk in. ;-) Anywho, I'm glad it's done because I'm sure my dad will be giving me a heart attack tomorrow when he comes to visit. HAHAHA jk

Dear Dad....

So I don't really care if this is too much for most people. I don't care if this seems like too much info for people but this is a way for me to relieve stress so that I stay away from getting my tumor "Don" upset. I have a few issues with my father and I am sure that a lot of women can agree with some of these feelings and the situations at hand. If you don't wanna read the letter to my father, then I say wait until tomorrow for another post. If you think that this shouldn't be done then please don't give me any negative comments. Okay with all that being said, I will start my letter:

Dear Dad,
I would like to say first off that I have so much unconditional love and care for you. I will give you anything in the world that I could possibly find. I will do what ever I can to make your life any easier. At the beginning of this wonderful life journey, I had the chance to talk to you about being a parent to me during this time of need. I thought that we had an understanding that if you said that you were going to do something that you would. I have never asked for anything more than for you to be there for me. I have never asked for any money, property, or even held a grudge towards you about the past. I have always wanted to be apart of your life and your family. As long as I could remember, I was the one that would pick up the phone to call you to let you know how I was doing. I remember doing it since I was maybe 8 years old. I would call and let you know how my grades were and how things were going down in Atlanta. A small part of me as a little girl wanted my mom and dad to get back together but I knew that it wouldn't happen after I understood the situation a lot better. As we grew old, I felt like we started to grow apart. I made the effort to grow closer to you and your new family by going to a school in the Midwest. I wanted to go to school in the city of Chicago so that I could commute from your house to the city. It would help me feel like I got the chance to see what it would be like to be a child in your household. As I got the acceptance letter to Purdue, I knew that it wasn't what I wanted but it would be close enough. I thought with the two of us being only two hours away, I would be able to see you more. As I started my freshmen year and I tore my ACL, I didn't think that it would be as bad as it got but things got bad. I understand that you have a really hard time with job stability and the fact that you have a really hard time with the emotional burden to be the sole bread winner for your family. I still wanted to be there for you. I remember while in my sophomore year, I got a call from you asking for some money. I had no problem with taking the little extra money that I had in my savings account to help you. I didn't even hesitate to be there for you and your family. I knew that if you had to ask for it you really needed the money. As the year went on, I remember sitting in the hospital after my knee surgery alone on Christmas day. I called your house to see if you would make it, but you were busy. I waited for you to come and once you showed up it was really late. It really hurt me a lot, but I found forgives through God. I asked God to help me see the better side of the situation, so I did. As I went into my Junior year of college, I remember being so emotionally unstable that I went on a series of quests to find a way to make you proud of me. I started to work multiple jobs so that I didn't have to ask you for money. I remember receiving a phone call from Ouida telling me that I was asking for too much from your family. I didn't realize what was going on but I knew that I felt like I was kicked. I found it in myself to forgive you again for everything. I had outburst and rants about the way things were going in my life with you, but I feel like every girl has had that moment. As I started to my senior year in college, I remember having a talk with you to see if it was possible for me to move in with you after I graduated from Purdue. As we started a new year with me a member of your household, I made sure that I tried my best to live under your rules. As Ouida


My diagnosis was a scary moment for everyone but at least I knew that I had really strong people in my life to help my through it. Dad, I knew that you had a rare cancer before and I hoped that you would be there for me more. Granted hospitals are scary places where a lot of bad things happen, but a lot of good things happen there too. Your daughter was fighting for her life and you never came to be a small support for her. I wasn't expecting a miracle change from you but I thought once I told you "you are welcomed to come at any point you feel comfortable," I thought you would step up. After the talk that we had in September about what I needed from my father, I never knew that a little short of four months would have gone by without a single visit. Believe me, I understand that you have a family to take care of and their are extremely important to you. I never want to take a way from Jeri and Evan!! I love them with all my heart and soul. I love them like we are full blood siblings. So, I don't know if I am the right person to be here pouring my heart out to you like this because I don't want you to think that I don't love you unconditionally but I do love you enough to tell you that I am disappointed in the choices that you have made recently. I would also like to say that I am sorry for anything that I have done to you and your family in order for you all to not want me around. I just wanted all of you to be proud of me and look at me a strong, beautiful, amazing young woman that you would go and tell everyone. Honestly, I have felt like a failure for years because I thought that there was nothing in the world that I could do to make you happy and proud of me. I have a few issues with men because of those reasons. My ability to have a huge guard up and the fact that I have an underlying uncomfortable feeling of being secure because I feel like if I wasn't good enough for you then I won't be for anyone else. Honestly, I don't think that I'm that bad but it's nothing like hearing your father tell you how beautiful, smart, and amazing you are. I can walk with the smile on my face like nothing hurts but it hurts. I am comfortable with saying that I have forgiven you for everything that you have done. I will never stop loving. Just for your understanding and information, I talked to Uncle David before he past away about the relationship between you and I. He asked me to forgive you and I told him that I have forgiven him but I don't think that he has forgiven himself. I have also had a conversation with my ex-boyfriends who both told me that my guard is big that it makes me ugly and hard to deal with, in which I told them that it could be linked to the fact that I feel like you don't love me. In which, Patrick told me "He is proud of you and he thinks highly of you, but he knows that he has nothing to do with who you are." As those words came out of his mouth, I realized that it must suck for you to have that constant reminder that you weren't always there. However, I want you to know that you have the chance to change it. I want to work on making this relationship better. I just hope you are......

With ALL MY RESPECT AND LOVE IN ALL OF MY BODY,
Denise Renee' ("Munchers") Bradford a.k.a "Number 1"

READERS I AM SO SORRY FOR SUCH A LONG POST..... THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ IT. LOVE YA!!

A run and a quick swim....

I had an amazing day today!! I went for a quick 2 mile run this morning and then I went for a swim at the co-rec!! For the first time in a LOOONNNGGG time that I felt like an athlete. My body will hurt in the morning but it's always better to go hard then to not go at all.

I am so excited to start a new chapter in my life. No more playing the "Cancer Survivor" but the normal Denise that I use to be. Outside of all of that, I am glad that I don't have any hair because its easier to go from swimming to dress very quickly.

Next time, I will take someone with me. ;-)

The Strength behind the Smile and the tears...

I don't care what anyone says to me about anything that has happened to me and my emotions as a cancer patient, call me emotional unstable with a bunch of mood swings. I can honestly say that I am happy when I take the time to cry and let people in now. I have no guard when it comes to being emotional with the people in my life, well with those who truly care. I will be open with everything that I feel. I believe that who I am today can only be seen as a weak individual but when I look at myself in the mirror with tears in my eyes all I can see is the blessing that God has given me. Whether it be another day to learn or another day to see the beauty that God has here on this earth for me to see. I know that nothing but a smile and a few tears won't change the ideas of people who have never had the chance to see death, but I can tell you I am so blessed to be able to express myself the way that I have learned lately. I am more than just the individual that I once was but I am better than I have been in the past. Solely based on the fact that I am capable of seeing the world just a little brighter and a little bit more happier. Quietly, I sit in a room full of green and I never feel alone or by myself. I am lucky to have a special friend that walks with me in every single second. I have a strong, loving, forgiving, understanding God that is there with me. I can honestly say that I am sad that I have to spend this hard time alone with out a "significant other" but I am blessed to have a group of people who can see my beauty and my strength with everyday that I wake up and complete the simple tasks of the day. With every step I remember the day I almost lost the ability to walk, every mile ran brings the JOY of another miracle in my life.

By the way: I have decided to start training for another half-marathon in December. I would like to run in Nashville's Half-marathon for St. Jude's Hospital. I would like your support with encouragement and even a few miles ran with me. :-)

A moment of clarity...

My new favorite bracelet

A had a chance to clear my mind today at church. I went with a good friend of mine who I care very deeply about. As I got dressed for church, I reached into my purse (Yesss.... I HAVE A PURSE!! (-:) and found the last gift that I received form my grandma. the bracelet that I love some much. The reason that I love the bracelet outside of the fact that it is green, I like it because it was the first time that my grandmother saw me a young lady and not as the little tomboy in the family. It made me think of all the good things that I have inside of me. The things that so many people can't see. I have had so many nights look at myself as to blame for people not knowing me, but the truth is I have so much to give people that its hard to see the greatness all at once. I can always look past my pain to make sure that someone else is happy and I believe that I have that because of my grandma. She has always been the woman to look at others happiness more than her own. I am so grateful for this moment of clarity because it has given me the ability to move forward to being a great person.

A letter to my stepmother...

With all the conversation about the end of the world coming, I had the chance to sit down and think about things. I think that this has to be done for the reason to help clear my soul and my feelings.

Dear Ouida,
I would like to say that I have had the chance to think about the things in my life and I hope that you have the ability and the chance to read this entire letter. Once, I had the chance to know you, I have always loved you. The good, bad, and the ugly of everything that we have gone through. I want you to know that I have never been able to tell you my true feelings about what is on my heart but here it is. I have also was looked up to you from the day that I understood what you did for a leaving. You had the type of life that I wanted to look forward to. You were smart, beautiful, caring, giving, strong-willed, and very loving. I could only see the good in you. I saw that the beauty that was inside of you. You were able to look past the fact that I was not your biological daughter but you were able to let me be that for years. You taught me how to be a tall woman and be able to love the body God gave me. You taught me how to look at myself as a beautiful woman that should be treated like one. I have looked up to how pretty you were, how you were able to look at yourself with such high esteem. All I wanted to do was show you how I wanted to be like you. I wanted to be smart, strong-willed, caring, giving, and confident. I would always look at your strength to overcome things in your life as a road map for me. As you told me stories about your battle with your crohn's disease and overcoming through your undergraduate degree. As you told me stories about people on your corporate job that didn't like you and how you overcame the diversity. I also looked up to when you had your children. I looked at you as a wonderful mother and wife. I always looked at you as a second mother to me because I could tell you EVERYTHING that I was afraid to tell my mother. As things changed in your life, your career and your family life, I felt as if you resented me for being around. I have always wanted your approval of me and the things that I have done in my life. It seems as if I was never good enough. I thought you would look at me and say I am so proud of you when I graduated from Purdue. I thought you would say to me I am so proud of your for going to get your Master's degree from Purdue. I thought you would tell me "I love you so much for how strong you are. I see a little bit of me in you when I see you overcome all odds." I had no idea that I would spend more time crying on the phone with you begging to have you hear me out when talking about a family visit or a conversation about my illness. I can honestly say that I am a little disappointed about the fact that I have not seen you since Christmas. I know that you have a life and things are crazy for you and your family but I have been fighting for my life. I want you to know that I will never stop trying to get your attention. I am so sorry that I can't get you to see that I admire you and respect you so much even when I had the chance to turn away, I am still here for you. I love you so much and I really want the best for you and your family. I just hope that you understand and see that my heart is pure and real for just a small piece of your heart to live in. I want to be able to get your love and approval some day.

With ALL MY LOVE AND RESPECT,
Denise

I'm not so sure some of my readers will like this post but its something that has truly come from my heart and I appreciate you reading.

Medical Bills and distress

If any of you have been in the hospital, you know what it is like to have the medical bills come in the mail. I have had my few share of bills come through in my life, well as of recently I do. I have gotten to the point to feel like I am better off dead then I am alive. The bills are so expensive and there seems to be so many of them. Granted I am blessed to have insurance, however the insurance does not cover everything. I have had the joys of debt collectors calling my cell phone everyday. It is extremely exhausting mentally. Its one of those things that has the way of making your day change completely. I have no idea what I need to learn from this situation but all I want to do is either win the lottery or have the end of the world come soon then later. No matter what anyone says to me about the bill collectors, I know that its not worth the amount of stress that they bring. Its one thing to be in debt because you decided to buy unnecessary things on a credit card but its another when the debt is to "save" your life. Makes you think differently about life. I don't know what to do about my emotions and the things that I don't know what to do. :-/ 

To trial or not to trial (clinical trials)

I have been given a few options to look into clinical trials for my health. For those who don't know what clinical trials are, there is a great site that explains it all:
http://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/info/understand

However, I am all for the amount of research that will be gained from my participation this reason is only due to the fact that I am a scientist at heart. I am also a human being and I don't like the idea of being a lab rat the rest of my life. I would like to live a fulfilling life that has nothing to do with hospitals at all. Question to my readers:
1. Should I live my life to the fullest as a young adult should?
2. Should I start to look into clinical trials to save my life?
3. What happens if I spend the rest of my life in and out of hospitals and nothing changes?
4. What would you do in this situation?
5. Am I giving up on life by choosing to be happy first?
6. Normal is a life contained to a drug for the rest of my life?
7. How would you like to see yourself at the end? Describing what you have done around the world or what you have done in the hospital the past 6-9 years?

I don't mean to scare anyone but I have had this on my mind and I would like to know that my shorter life doesn't have to be connect to a lifetime of drug experimentation. I don't know the answers to all these questions myself but the opinion of those would be nice. :-/

The story of the Ninja Dermatologist and her trusted side kick

Once upon a time in a far away place somewhere an hour away from Indianapolis and about two hours away from Chicago, where the people lived life of happiness and joy of small town life. There lived a young lady with cancer who had the pleasure of getting treatment for her disease However, the treatment for her disease made her breakout in horrible blackheads and pimples all over her face. She was asked to allow the treatment to take care of her body first and then they would deal with her face. Once the treatment was done with majority success, she was referred to the amazing doctor in the local area.

As the young girl walked into the new foreign place, she ran into a wonderful group of people in the middle of a forest. They talked to her like a normal persona and made her feel lovely. She walks into a room with a mirror and a surgical table, when the lonely side kick rushes into the room. He looks nice and handsome with his wing tip dress shoes, bow tie, and nerdy eye glasses. He looks at the young lady with great fear and defeat in his eyes, due to the fact that the young girl had a sense of humor about her not having any hair. The side kick became out of control, in which he soon leaped out of his chair to retrieve his trusted partner.

As the door opens with a swift turn of the door knob and gust of air conditioned air in walks the ninja dermatologist floats in. The ninja stands over the girl with a long black coat with matching pants. The coat had her lovely name stitched on the left side of her coat and buttons that scaled across her chest from her chest down to her belly button. She sits next to the girl with care and victory in her eyes. She tells the girl "you have beautiful skin but we have to show the world. We will like to put you on a topical cream to cure this horrible plague on your face." She gives a quick nod to her side kick and swiftly leaves like she entered. With a sigh of relief he finishes the consultation and sends the young girl on her way with goody bag full of samples. To soon see her again in 4-6 weeks for check up.

HAHA!! I hope you all got a great laugh about my wonderful dermatologist and her office members. :-)

Weight loss and the amazing shrinking stomach...

Well good morning to everyone!! Just a quick update I started my first summer class in over two years!! I'm excited to be back at school and I intend on taking this class like I've never been sick before in my life. :-) No judgments of being too harsh on myself. I just want to be consistently moving and keeping my mind running from chemo brain.

Anyway, I've been losing weight at an unlikely rate. I have tried to consume food but it just haven't been working out for me. I eat at least once a day but the portion sizes are extremely too much for me right now. :-( I've eaten my way through Atlanta but not as much as I use to eat. Everywhere we went I had to take home my food. I actually like eating good food but it just doesn't seem to be working out lately. I think I need to buy a feeding tube or something. Any ideas?

Moments of transition...

Well it's that time of the year as people move on to their next steps, I start to realize the what is next for me. I will really miss a lot of people and things that I am really comfortable with. I have these feelings of abandonment because I feel strongly attachment to my situation. I see that my friends are moving on to bigger and better things, in which I am so extremely proud and happy for them. I wish them all the best of luck from this point forward. I will really miss one of my closet friends from Purdue. He will be going off into the real world. He is extremely smart, caring, giving, and very very kind hearted. He can do anything that he puts his mind to and I really admire him for who he is. :-) I wish him all the best of luck and I hope that he doesn't forget me in the middle of Indiana. I have a friend who is going through a transition in life that will only make her a better person. She needs to take the steps in the right direction in order to be a better person. I know that she is smart, strong, capable, and extremely feisty for the thrill in life. I know that she will be a  huge success because she has already been through the worse in her life. I have a friend who has been given another chance at love and I know that its an extremely exciting time for him. I'm more than absolutely sure that they will be great together. He is smart, caring, giving, silly, funny, and open to the world. I know that he will make her happier than I know that he knows.... Never mind in second thought naw he knows it ;-) I don't wanna lose that friendship but I know that things happen for a reason. Good Luck. I have a friend who is extremely recent but I feel so connected to her in so many ways. We have a lot in common and I know that we are friends for a reason. She has a lot to offer this world and I know that she has given me a lot of information and knowledge that I couldn't never repay her. She has a heart of gold that matches her mind, spirit, and soul. She will have a great life where ever the wind may take her. I wish her the best in her life.

I'm really scared that I will be the same little sick girl that hasn't grown from anything in my life. I will still be here in Lafayette without learning anything new. I don't wanna be that woman at all. I have a few issues that I need to address but I think I have a lot to offer. I have something to give the world and someone special. I wish that I could show the world my beauty, but all I can see some times is damaged goods. It kinda sucks but I don't think that I've been that bad of a person for this situation. I just hope someone can see the beauty and strength that I have. And I hope people that I know don't forget or oversee the beauty in me. :-/

My Grandmother's Birthday....

Today would have been my grandmother's birthday!! I really miss her a lot... more and more everyday matter of a fact. I wanted to let her know that how I did this semester and I hope that she is proud of me. The more I think about her, the more I realize that without her we miss a lot. I miss her telling me that my cousin is doing great at VSU and she just became a Delta. I miss her telling me that she talked to my cousin in Boston and the kids are doing well. I miss the main stream line of communication with my family being her. 

Grandma during my last Christmas with her.

Grandma and Karmel talking about a gift.

I know that she is looking down on all of us today and making sure that we all have an angel walking with us. I miss her more and more each day. If I could give her a bracelet and key chain, I would. She has always been the woman to calm me down when I have no words to say. She has always found a way to make me feel like I was one of the "special" grand kids, but I'm sure we can all say the same. :-)

So here is my small tribute to a beautiful, smart, strong, stubborn, feisty, courageous, energetic woman that has given me more than she could ever imagine. I thank her so much for EVERYTHING she has done for me.