September 24th, 2010 (My day of delight)

On this day, I was asked to visit my local oncologist' office, Dr. N. As I woke up that morning, I was in a great mood with my family here in town. My mother and my aunt stayed at a hotel the night before, my brother and my dad stayed at my apartment the night before. As we all make our way to the doctor's office there was a really aware tension that was underlined in everyone. We met mom #2 and #3 at the office, which I'm more than sure Dr. N's office had NEVER seen an entourage like that walk in (I love all the members of Team Denise).

As we sit in the examining room waiting on Dr. N to walk in, the awkward tension began to mount.  Dr. N walks in to a room of 7 people with eyes of hope and a little distress. We introduce ourselves as my aunt walks out the room to wait in the waiting room. She sits down to talk to everyone in which she starts with:

We were about to declare the type of tumor that you have from the biopsy. You have a malignant tumor in both your liver and your spine. They are of the same origin, which the pathology report states that it is a soft tissue cancer more specifically a hermanigosarcoma. Due to the fact that this tumor has metastasized, it is safe to say that you have an advance stage of this cancer. The cancer is rare and not very many individuals have this your age. I have only seen 1 case like this before in my career as an oncologist and the patient was twice your age, who had a form of cancer before. I would like for you to visit the local sarcoma specialist down in Indianapolis so that we can make some final decisions on what to do as far as chemotherapy. 

As I sat there in shock, I looked at everyone else in the room. I sat there with a really big smile and a calm demeanor, as my dad and my brother both hung their heads in disbelief along with the women in the room looking at me with soft, tear-filled eyes with open hearts. I said to Dr. N as she asked me if I had any questions: "The only question that I have, will this help my back from hurting?" She replies, "yes it should." As the others asked questions about clincial trials, about whether or not she had a survival chart, I sat there in complete shock and mostly denial on the inside but I was determined to remain calm and smile on the outside. For some reason I knew that God had a huge hand in this and I really didn't need to worry about this right now and what the future had in store for me. As we all walked out, I was instructed to receive a Zomata treatment, which is an IV drip treatment to reinforce my bones since the tumor was attacking my spinal cord and broken 2 vertebrae. My family was asked to sit in the waiting room while I received treatment, in which I know words were exchanged.  At that moment, I was happy to be alone because I couldn't dare to see everyone's reaction to this at the moment.

After the doctor's visit my family went for a late breakfast at XXX diner, a local college town "whole in the wall" with great food. It made everyone feel a lot better.